Articles

Buzz Beater – Sat. Jan.16th

In 1 on January 16, 2010 by geespotting

THE BUZZ BEATER – SAT. JAN.16TH

…J-Love Hewitt & Cowell Replacements

     THE HOT BOX

– Super star actress Jennifer Love Hewitt caused quite a stir earlier this week when she was on the George Lopez show. She had mentioned that she likes to vajazzle her va-jay-jay. Basically, she likes to add glitter and expensive crystals to her private area. She first did it after a break up, and decorates her kitty everytime she goes out. She even had it sparkling for Lopez’s show.

– Now the buzz beater. Upon hearing this news, it seems private posers Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are ready to go commando again…and ready for the paparazzi to be there. Lindsay quote “Everyone has seen my cactus flower already, so, why not just have it all dolled up next time. It would almost be like I wasn’t naked at all. Pssst…anyone know where the closest pharmacy is?”

– More buzz beater. Even those not in the habit of baring all are ready to come on board with this new sensation. Meryl Streep said “I would love to play Jennifer Love Hewitt in a movie playing me, where I can expose my transformed cha cha for everyone to see. I am sure it would even garner me and my yum yum another Oscar nom”. Oprah came on board too “C’mon…you know I can make this look good”!

– Finally, expect a whole new series of books on this topic from Love Hewitt…tentatively titled “The Clam Whisperer” OR “Living Up My Box” OR “Makin Up Your Lady Business” OR “Bees In My Honey Pot” OR

     THE FAST FORWARD

THINGS WE SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON’T 

1.. Money isn’t made out of paper, it’s made out of cotton.2.. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a ‘tittle’.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down

continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. (that makes my day!)

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6.. 40% of Mc Donald ‘s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The ‘spot’ on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was

albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.  (Just

as I suspected))

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.    

 

 

   

      HIGH FIVERS

Top 5 Rock Songs (Sat. Jan.16th)

5. Devil On My Shoulder – BILLY TALENT

4. Check My Brain – ALICE IN CHAINS

3. Wheels – FOO FIGHTERS

2. Break – THREE DAYS GRACE

1. New Fang – THEM CROOKED VULTURES

     TUBE TALK

Sunday –

HUMAN TARGET – New series on FOX with Mark Valley from Boston Legal as the lead. FOX has a habit of bringing back former leads of their failed previous series. This will be the 2nd attempt at a hit for Valley. They have used this formula for stars like Jason Priestley (1 for 3), and Eliza Dushko (1 for 3 as well). Rob Lowe has also fallen into this lot as the big 3 networks have all tried using him as a lead (2 for 4…the hits being “West Wing” and “Brothers and Sisters”). This show looks pretty light, but, could be a good lead-in for 24 which will debut right afterwards. I will check it out, and letcha know, but, I don’t expect anything along the lines of a “Prison Break” breakout.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES – Something mysterious will happen on Wisteria Lane. That’s all I can say, because it is a mystery. (Use this tag-line every Sunday for this show).

CHICK ALERT>>>CHICK ALERT. The Golden Globe Awards are on Sunday night. Easily the best award show of the bunch, as it mixes the best in movies and tv. Plus, there is no real format to the show, and all of the stars are encouraged to get blitzed, which usually means some entertaining acceptance speeches. It is a far cry from the “I couldn’t have done this without the support of Lord and Saviour, my family, cast-mates and all those who were with me as I gave it 110%, for each and every shift”. Ok…that is obviously a combo acceptance speech, but, should be an alright show. Plus, all the ladies can see what everyone is wearing. (I hope there is some witty fashion commentary from Ben Mulroney on a Canadian channel. No one does the red carpet with the questions that matter regarding fashion like handsome Ben).

HOCKEY PICKS – Tonight, double header on Hockey Night In Canada. The 2nd game should be dandy with Sid and the Pens wrapping up their West Coast swing in Vancouver. I wonder what kind of headlines the Canucks can make tonight. Tomorrow, NBC is back with their Sunday assortment of games. Some good matchups, but, none better than the match of wits between Pierre Maguire and Mike Milbury. They are often seen head to head, either readying for a rumble similiar to “Ali & Foreman”, or an embrace like “Heath and Jake”. It is hard to watch, yet, you can’t turn away.

    THE BIG LEBOWSKI LIST

– Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol at the end of this season. Here is a look at his top 10 replacements:

10. Paula Adbul

9. David Foster

8. Kid Rock

7. Borat

6. Conan O’Brien

5. Bruce Allen

4. Piers Morgan

3. Courtney Love

2. Howard Stern

1. Kanye West

– Everyone loves Kanye, and his comeback would be the feel good story of the year. He is an artist who is humble, and of substance. A no brainer.

…That is the third edition of the Buzz Beater. Vajazzling, isn’t it?

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